The moments that comprise my day can usually be placed into one of two categories: hallelujah chorus and sad trumpet.

  The hallelujah chorus sounds just like the hallelujah chorus that we’re all used to hearing. The sad trumpet sounds something like, “wah wah waaaaahhhhhh.” If I can find this sound somewhere I’ll post it so you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

   As I’m going about my day, one of those two sounds will play in my head depending on the situation. Because I’m self-involved, I’m going to give you a break down of my day.

12am-5:45am: I’m being lavished with gifts and attentions from a smoking hot, accessible, and eloquent man. Hallelujah Chorus!

5:46am: My alarm goes off. It was a dream. Sad Trumpet.

7:15am: Father greets me with, “Look at my professional daughter off to work!” Hallelujah Chorus.

7:15am: Father ends greeting with,”You don’t run as much as you used to. You better be careful or you’re going to get fat, especially since you don’t do that much during the day.” Sad Trumpet.

7:30: No traffic! Hallelujah!

7:45: Remember Father’s comment. Sad Trumpet.

7:50: Emo song plays on radio. Wallowing in pity. Sad Trumpet.

8:00: Arrive at work. My favorite parking spot is open. Hallelujah!

10:00: Co-worker surprises me with muddy buddies aka puppy chow. Hallelujah!

11:00: Check bank account and see that all my bills have been paid and I still have a little money left! Hallelujah!

11:42: Mascara flakes into eye causing tears. Sad trumpet.

12:30: Take lunch. Get a good seat in the atrium. Read Beloved. Hallelujah!

1:30: Beloved is about slavery. Sad trumpet.

2:45: Talk with Tesia on gmail chat. Hallelujah!

3:00: Get handed detailed project and have to stop talking on gmail chat. Sad Trumpet.

3:05: Get talked down to while being told how to do detailed project. Sad Trumpet.

3:10: Start dipping toes in pool of self-pity. Sad Trumpet.

3:20: Remember that person who handed me detailed project is off tomorrow! Hallelujah!

4:00: Literally whistling while I work. Hallelujah!

4:02: Reminded that I work at the reception desk and I have to be professional. Sad Trumpet.

4:05: Play “Tik Tok” in my head. Hallelujah!

4:59: Can’t get “Tik Tok” out of my head!!!! Sad Trumpet.

5:30: Leave the office and head to the parking garage. Hallelujah!

5:36: Drop key card while trying to get out of the parking garage and end up having to call security desk. Sad Trumpet.

5:37: Cars start honking. Sad Trumpet.

5:38: Hear security guy laugh at me. Sad Trumpet.

5:40: No traffic! Hallelujah!

5:42: Traffic. Ponder the lost art of merging. Sad Trumpet.

6:00: Stop at grocery store to buy lunch for the week. Have exactly $20.73 in wallet. Hallelujah.

6:30: Home. Sit down and eat muddy buddies aka puppy chow. Think the name of aforementioned snack is somewhat racist. Hallelujah?