My parents are a hoot.

       That’s part of the reason why I still live with them. That and the fact that I’m a broke college grad who can’t afford her own apartment They’re extremely funny. If you think I’m droll, spend an hour or two with my parents and you’ll see where I get it from. The only difference between myself and my parents is that I work the crowd to get the laugh, they’re naturally funny. For instance, here’s a gem my mother said after my sister and the midget left.

Me: Mom, it says right here on the honey bottle, “Do not feed to infants under 1 year of age.”

Mom: I know. That’s because it’s not pasteurized.

       And here’s one from my dad.

Mom enters wearing a yellow shirt and acid green shorts.

Me: (incredulously) Mom, what are you wearing?

Dad: An avocado.

       This one happened at my aunt and uncle’s house this past weekend.

Mom takes her tea bag out of her cup and starts wiping her face with it.

Cousin: Auntie, what are you doing with your tea bag?

Mom: Green tea is really good for your skin.

Cousin: But that’s chai.

       I wish I had a eidetic memory so I could recall everything they ever said because there have been some golden moments over the years. If your parents have ever said anything nearly as ridiculous as what my parents have said, please let me know.