I don’t care if you cut me off in traffic, turn when I didn’t yield you the right of way, change lanes without signaling, or any type of tomfoolery that people engage in when driving. However, the second you ride my bumper in traffic you will awaken the beast.

   Out of all the traffic faux pas that people make, tailgating is the one that sets my blood on fire and turns me into a demon from the abyss. It drives me out of my ever-loving mind. I had to write a post about this because as I was driving to church the other day, a woman decided that I wasn’t driving fast enough for her tastes and chose to drive two inches from my bumper. She was driving so close I could see her making obscene gestures at me in my rear view mirror. I was already going way too fast, but whatever, she apparently had somewhere she had to be RIGHT NOW!

   Anyway, I changed lanes because it was Sunday and I figure God might get peeved if I tried to bait another driver into a fight by braking constantly. Angry witch lady The other driver then sped up and started going about five mph faster than I was going. When she did this I just about lost my ever-loving mind, but only partially because she was tailgating me. I lost the other half of my mind when I saw the back of her car.

Every Christian thought that was in my head was driven out by the beast that corrupted my soul at that moment. This was me:


“Are you freakin’ kidding me?! What are you rushing for? Unless you’re hightailing it to get your car fixed you need to slow the heck down! Why did you tailgate me? Are you trying to make the front match the back?”

    I am a terrible person. This is why I go to church.

    But let’s take one more look at that car.