Still riding the high from a thoroughly awesome summer, I agreed to help my cousin, Rachel, with our church’s Christmas pageant. She would direct and I would slowly lose my mind because of people’s foolishness be her stage manager. This is another one of those situations where I wish I could go back in time and bludgeon my past self to death with a cantaloupe. I love spending time with my cousin (love, love, love it), but the amount of tomfoolery we have to deal with from people is astounding.

    Yesterday as I felt my last shred of sanity slipping down my ear canal, I realized that I’ve been an idiot of the first-rate kind. Instead of rocking on my heels and singing “Oh Susanna” as I try to stomach one more “We have rehearsal today? Oh I forgot”, one more “Sorry, I have an appointment. I can’t come afterwards. It’s an all day appointment.” , and one more “Wait, you mean the performance is on the 17th? I have to work.” I’m going to blog.

   For goodness sake, I started this blog to stave off the madness that has slowly been creeping up since graduation. How could I not blog about this catastrophe? Believe me, it’s going to be a catastrophe. We’ve been rehearsing for two months and we’ve yet to have a full cast rehearsal. Praise the Lord we don’t have live animals in this piece because then the walls of the church would probably come crashing down.

   I can see it now:

   The camel would get loose and start spitting at everyone because even he’s offended at how bad this pageant is.

   The sheep would begin bleating “baaaad!! baaaaaad!! baaaaaaaad!!!!!”

   The goat would feel bad for God and offer himself up as a sacrifice.

    The reason I’m telling you this now is because once this pageant is over, I’m going to blog the crap out of it. I figured I would give you a warning now. A goliath sized post is coming. This pageant has driven me over the edge and I must exact revenge. Seriously, it’s enough to make you want to convert.

    Is it too late to become Jewish? The Jews don’t have to put up with shenanigans like these. They don’t have Chanukah pageants, do they?

    I would make a good Jew.

    Except that I’ve grown quite fond of Jesus. 

    Isn’t there a group called Jews for Jesus?

    Can I be a Jew for Jesus?

     Those Christians are getting on my nerves.

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