Never listen to the NSYNC ‘s Home for Christmas when you’re single.
You will end up hating life and all mistletoe related festivities.
The other day I went out shopping with my cousin, Ariel, and my friend, Tesia. We decided that since we were shopping for Christmas gifts, Christmas tunes were in order. We grew up on the Mariah Carey Christmas album so we decided to switch it up a little bit and play the NSYNC one which I don’t think we’ve listened to since 10th grade.
Everything was grand. Everything was great. I was fa-la-la-la-laing in the back seat like there was no tomorrow. JC Chavez had me in his grasp. Lance Bass was my sassy gay friend. We were one in the holiday music.
Then I started listening to the lyrics.
“Nothing else will do/ All I want is you this Christmas”
“I never knew the meaning of Christmas/Till I looked into your eyes”
“No one else but me and you/ Nothing I would rather do/ Then hold you all through the night under my tree”
(Does anyone else think that last line’s a little suggestive? No? Just me? Ok then.)
Suddenly, I was hit with a wave of Christmas self-pity.
NSYNC is going on my “Grrr! I’m so angry!” list. I was completely digging my single Christmas. Friends are coming into town, it’s Emmalyn’s first Christmas, Glee did a Christmas album, our tree is the shiz, and then they had to write love songs about the holidays. Love songs that exclude me because I’m single. And alone. And lonely.
Ever notice how the key word in both “lonely” and “alone” is “one”? It’s times like these when I hate the English language.
I’m kidding, English. You’re still the love of my life. Want to hang out with me on Christmas? I’ll bring pie and we can listen to Mariah Carey’s new Christmas album, Merry Christmas II You. Isn’t that a clever title?
Oh, you’re busy? You and Creole are going to Hindi’s belated Diwali party? Oh. No, that’s cool. That’s cool.