This post comes from an idea my friend, Julie, had a couple weeks ago.
I’m a big fan of diversity. Watching people step out of their comfort zone and experience different cultures makes me giddy. On the opposing end, stereotypes make me angry. The same goes for prejudice. Despite my anger I’m tragically not immune to them. When one of my friends asked me if I would ever go sky diving I quickly retorted with, “I’m black; my people don’t do that.” Do you see how prejudice that response was? There are probably hundreds of black people who have gone sky diving and enjoyed it. To quote Avenue Q, “Everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes/ doesn’t mean we go around committing hate crimes.”
While I am trying to overcome my prejudices, I have to admit to all of you that there are still certain things that white people say and do that make me think they have a little, tiny black person living inside of them. For the most part they act like a normal white person acts, but every once in a while their tiny black person will speak out.
For instance, when a white woman says, “Girlfriend” with exact emphasis on the “girl” part, I know that’s her tiny black person speaking.
When a white teenager puts Eminem next to Dave Matthew’s Band on a mix cd, I know that’s his tiny black person acting out.
Whenever any white person goes to Jamaica and thinks, ‘I would look really good with cornrows’ their tiny black person is angry with them and is exacting punishment.
If you are white, or know someone who is, here’s a list of things white people do that indicate they have a tiny black person living inside of them:
1 ) Get dreadlocks and think they look good.
2 ) Think they know what Bob Marley is singing about.
3 ) Say “homey” or “dawg”
4 ) Play Boys II Men on a date.
5 ) Play Brian McKnight on a date.
6 ) Play The Temptations on a date.
7 ) Know what Jungle Juice is.
8 ) Become violently angry when watching “Roots.”
9 ) Quote Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious.”
10 ) Cry when they hear Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.”
All of my white friends will probably disown me for this post, but I’m also equally sure that black people also have tiny white people living inside them as well. I certainly do; hence my adoration for Tay-tay Swift.
Long live the Tay-tay!