Sometimes, I get euphoric over shoes.
I have feet so flat I’m mistaken for a dolphin when I swim in the water. I can pick up spare change with my toes.
Because of my oddly formed feet, not all shoes fit me well. This is why I become euphoric when I find a pair of shoes that are comfortable and stylish. Usually I have to choose. My comfy shoes usually make me look like a geriatric clown. My stylish shoes, while stylish, usually involve me cutting off a toe in order to get them to fit. All for the cause, I guess. Fortunately(because God saw my struggle and smiled down upon me), I found a pair of shoes that are both comfortable and stylish.
They look good with dress pants.
They look good with capris.
They look good with skirts.
What is this feeling so sudden and new?
That would be euphoria.
I found this pair of shoes while I was out shopping with Hannah. They were on sale at Urban Outfitters for $10. For those of you familiar with Urban Outfitters, you know that finding anything there under $50 is like finding a Baptist who doesn’t like potluck dinners. Highly un-freakin-likely. I wasn’t expecting the shoes to fit as well as they did, but when I slid them on for the first time, it was like I finally knew what Lionel Richie was singing about. “Is this love? That I’m feeling?”
Wait, that’s not Lionel Richie.
Anyway, I wear these shoes just about everywhere.
I wear them to work, church, and…well actually those are the only two places I go on a regular basis. I’m a lazy college grad, remember? Light switch raves are the highlight of my week. That and a double block of Mythbusters on Discovery.
One day at work, I was rocking my awesome shoes at my desk. I had an abundance of paperwork littering my desk and after staring at the same email for five minutes and not taking in a word, I decided to take a water break. I got up from my desk, went into the kitchen, and poured myself a big glass of water. On my way back, I noticed there was a box next to my desk, I thought, ‘Woah, better step over that. I wouldn’t want to spill my glass of water all over my desk. That would be disastrous!’ Unfortunately, my awesome shoes, in an attempt to avoid the box, caught on the leg of my chair.
Time slowed down.
In half time I watched myself falling spread eagle across my desk, legs akimbo, arms flailing wildly. All I could do was pray that my water landed on me instead of my desk. I had no concept of space as my body hurtled towards the ground.
When I finally landed my water was half on my shirt and half in my glass. One of my awesome shoes had twisted off my foot. My face was on my chair. I’m not sure how, but it was. One of my hands still held my glass, but the other was spread across the desk.
One thing you should probably know about my “awesome” shoes is that they’re flat. That’s why they’re so comfortable to me. I tripped in flat shoes. This gives me very little hope for the future since I use to blame my ineptitude for walking on heels of all shapes and sizes.
Alas, that is not the case.
It’s just my feet.
My stupid dolphin feet.