My friend, Kimi, likes to torture me. After the fiasco that was lqtm, she told me to try and figure out lby.

My first guess was “lopsided banana yoyo” which was incorrect.

This is how Tuesday was spent:

“Loquacious boatman’s yawn…losing…bottom…no.”

(five minutes pass)

“Lilly Borden’s Yew…Tree?”

(thirty seconds pass)

“Libya? With missing letters? It’s an abbreviation, why the heck not?

(an hour passes)

“I’m never gonna figure this crap out.”

And then we moved on to Wednesday:

“Lips! Lips! Lips! Lips do what with a b! Bark! Lips bark…Yaaaaaaa-Ya sisterhood?”

(ten minutes later at work)

“Batman, bark, bumba rass, bootlegger, brown nose, Bengal tiger, Ben Folds Five, Ben and Jerry’s…now I’m hungry. Crap!”

(another ten minutes goes by)

“Y…You just need a word for y. Why is this so hard? Why does Kimi hate me? Why do fools fall in love?”

(two hours later)

“Do I have that song on my ipod?”

(five minutes later)

“Yucca, Yemen, Yul Brenner, yonder, yule”

(at the gym)

“Lydia Buys Yucca. Look! Brenner, Yul! I’m done with this madness.”

Thursday was more of the same:

(upon waking up)


(in the shower)

“Little Batman Yonder?”

(getting dressed)

“Let’s Bait…Y…Y…Y…Y…Y”

(at work)

“LBY! L…B…Y…L…B…Y…L…B…Y…L…B…Y”

(frustrated, at work)

“This is what insanity feels like.”

(Leaving work)

Me: Kimi, I still can’t figure out lby.

Kimi: Oh my gosh, Gyasi, lby!

(leaving work, about to cry)

“Look behind you?”