On the list titled “Reasons why I’m still single” number 85 is this: snarkiness.

The other day a very courteous gentlemen starting chatting me up. I didn’t mean to sound British with that last sentence; it just happened. Even though I knew I wasn’t ever going to go out with him (he’s in his 40s) I thought I should at least be polite. I thought I should be polite, but I ended up being my usual foot-in-mouth, mean as a great white shark on steroids self.

The guy gave me his business card and I noticed that his name was “Alpha.”

Now, considering my name means “terrific man” I’m not really the person to judge the quality of a name, but of course I did.

“Your name is Alpha?” I asked.


“Like ‘and Omega’? Like God?”

This can also go on the list titled “Reasons why I will most likely be slingshotted straight to Hell.”