Emmalyn and Audrey have a tenuous relationship.

Sometimes they love each other dearly.

Other times they’re bent on making the other’s life miserable.

In a strange way, they’re more like siblings instead of a 15-month-old baby and an over the hill miniature poodle.

When they hate each other, the following will happen:

     One day, Emmalyn was being a good girl, so she received a cookie the size of her face. She’s at the age when she can finally appreciate a cookie. As her auntie who is hopelessly devoted to cookies, I’m glad we finally have something to connect over. A few months ago when she was still sharpening her motor skills into a fine point, I fed her a small piece of my peanut butter cookie. When my sister discovered what I had done because Emmalyn proceeded to sneeze bits of cookies onto her car seat, I was given a sound thrashing because babies aren’t supposed to have peanuts. Apparently, it can kill them.

    Who knew?

    Anyway, when Emmalyn received her cookie, she smiled, laughed, held it, and promised to love it from now until snack time they part. She was thoroughly excited about the cookie. Audrey was also very excited about the cookie and so she walked over, took the cookie out of Emmalyn’s hand with her teeth, and ate it. Then she walked away.

    The wail that Emmalyn emitted was similar to that of a banshee from the highlands.

    Or Banshee from the X-Men.

    Either one will do.

     Emmalyn is not the type to immediately respond to an attack, instead she’ll wait until an opportunity for total annihilation arises.

     That opportunity came only a few short days ago.

     Emmalyn and Audrey are about the same height and weight. In a battle royale, they’d be evenly matched, which is why they often resort to guerilla tactics. The only thing Emmalyn has on Audrey is a full diaper. When Emmalyn does her business, she adds about another five pounds to her backside, which comes in handy when she wants to exact revenge on Audrey.

    One day, when my sister was home with Emmalyn and Audrey, the two of them were playing on the floor (or seeing who would flinch first) when my sister said to Emmalyn, “How do we show the doggie we love her?”

    Emmalyn, full diaper and all, then proceeded to sit on the dog.

    The dog with epilepsy.

     Who shakes and twitches.

    For Emmalyn, love is a five letter word: abuse.