My room is a mess.

It’s so bad that I’m just waiting for that one-eyed alien from Star Wars IV to poke its head out and then pull me down to a watery grave. And I have no Han Solo in my life to shoot it. I would die.

When I was staying at Julie’s to watch Bella I started out with only one suitcase and some toiletries, but before I knew it I had basically moved into her apartment. I had to move one suitcase, three tote bags, four plastic bags of toiletries, five hangers of dress pants, and a partridge in a pear tree out of Julie’s apartment when she came home. Consequently, I dropped all of this crap in my room and didn’t unpack. When I needed something, I dug through one of the bags and found what I was looking for. Mind you, I’ve done this so many times that you can no longer see the floor in my room.

Now it’s just layers.

The top layer is cardigans and leggings.

Underneath that are jeans, skirts, and graphic tees.

Once you’ve penetrated that you’ll find underwear and shoes.

Then you might be able to find the floor.

It’s been so long since I’ve since the floor that there could very well be another layer after the undies.

Even though I’m the designated slob of the Byng clan, I’m disgusted by the atrocity that is my room at the moment.  I don’t think my room as ever been this bad before. Oh it’s been bad (when we were still living in NY I once slept under a pile of my clothes for about 2 weeks. He-Man told me to “get that mess off the floor”,  but he never specified where to put it), but you can usually find a bit of floor somewhere in the sty.

Since Ariel is coming over this weekend, and it would be a tragedy if a pile of my crap fell over and crushed her while she slept, I’m going to try to make my room fit for human habitation.

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to clean like I’ve never cleaned before.

God be praised!

And also, God help me.

Seriously, I think the undies are planning a revolt.