For the last couple of weeks, my cousin, Ariel, and I have been trying to plan a cousin weekend. When I say “last couple of weeks” I really mean “about 4 months.”

Minor difference.

When we started planning we dreamed of going to Miami for the weekend, staying in a nice hotel, spending the day on the beach, and enjoying some of the nightlife. Then life became unbelievably crazy so we decided to drive to Miami on a Saturday morning, go to the Miami Zoo (giraffes!), and then drive back that evening. Then life decided to serve us both a big helping of “screw you” so we ended up making empanadas and watching The Adjustment Bureau.

When we woke up the next morning we were both fiending for Indian food so we went to a place called Saffron in West Palm Beach that has the best chicken tika marsala in the universe. They’re also quite generous with the naan and idli so I pray a blessing from the Lord on that establishment every time I go there.

Ariel and I ate so much chicken tika marsala that we were crying from pain and pleasure by the time we were done. (Chicken tika marsala is quite spicy, but if loving it is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Plus, the naan and idli help stave off some of the burn. Anything that allows me to eat naan and idli in copious amounts is the right food for me.)

However, before we went to Saffron’s, Ariel and I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and mooch off of their magazine selection. We each grabbed 2-3 magazines, popped a squat in the cafe, and started flipping. With all of the weddings that have been going on lately, we were both in a matrimonial sort of mood. We read The Knot, Martha Stewart Weddings, and some other bridal crap that’s 70% ads 30% actual information.

Occasionally, we’d point something out to each other, like interesting color patterns or a funky looking dress (“I’m not going to wear white on my wedding day. I’m going to wear champagne.” “Why? Is that a more honest color?”) but for the most part, we stayed wrapped up in our own sad little bridal world.

That is until I became the little black rain cloud over my cousin’s day.

Here’s what happened:

Ariel: I think I want to get this magazine. There’s a ton of good information in here that could come in handy.

Me: Yeah, but it’ll all be out of date by the time…(voice trails off).

Ariel: You suck.

Looks like I’m following in Chi-chi’s footsteps.