Cover of "Varekai"

Cover of Varekai

Seriously, apple chips must be the ecstasy of the organic fruit snack world.

I’m going back to cheetos.

Here’s crazy dream 3 of 3:

I’m in a relationship with two characters from Cirque du Soleil’s “Varekai.” Not the actors who are playing the characters, but the actual characters. I’m also quite skilled at aerial ballet in silk and so while I’m trying to figure out which one I actually want to be with I’m flying around the big top with long bolts of silk cloth attached to my arms. Then I’m singing the songs from “Alegria”. While flying in the air with silk attached to my arms.

May I mention that I was quite fit in this dream?

I was quite fit.

I got a good look at my abs and I swear I had a sixteen pack.

You could have grated cheese on my abs they were so cut.

But I digress.

When I was done singing, the stage went dark and suddenly Panic! at the Disco appeared out of nowhere. They started playing “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” and so I started doing a contortion routine with hula hoops. (I blame Chi-chi for the hula hoops that were present in my dream. The apple chips are off the hook for that detail.) Then I went from being a hula hoop twirling ingenue to being a hand balancer.

I was the world’s best hand balancer.

How did I know this?

Because an interview was taking place five feet away from where I was hand balancing and there the interviewees were telling the interviewer that I was the world’s best hand balancer.

None could rival my skill.

I wish I were as talented in real life as I am in my dreams.