Very few people know this, but I am deathly afraid of peacocks.

I grew up with birds and normally I have absolutely no problem with any member of the feathered species (besides emus), but peacocks loathe my existence.

Everytime I encounter a peacock, it chases me.

When I was in Trinidad, I got chased by a white peacock.

When I went to the Palm Beach Zoo, I got chased by the peacock that for some inexplicable reason is NOT kept in an enclosure.

When I went back to Palm Beach Zoo, I got chased by that same freakin’ peacock in a completely different area of the park.

He sought me out.

Yeah, they look pretty, but their violent little sadists and they need to be locked up.

Their psychopaths with plumage.

My family finds this hysterical so every once in a while, one of them will send me a picture of a peacock.

For example, Kira sent this lovely shot with the caption “I’m coming for you!”

This weekend, Chi-chi texted me this picture, simply titled, “peacock”.

I figure this peacock is retreating back into his lair.

Strangely enough, I’ve never been chased by a peahen, once again proving the some men are just jerks.