Jerk spices packaged in jars

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As most of you know, I have a strange and somewhat creepy fascination with Asians.

If given the opportunity, I would marry an Asian man.

My friend, Tesia, is aware of this and so the following conversation took place.

Tesia: You know I found this article on the web that says that more and more Asian men are marrying Black women.

Me: Really? Then I stand a chance!

Tesia: (laughing) I know, right! Could you imagine what your children would look like if you married an Asian man?

Me: Yes. I would mess them up so badly, Tesia. I would find the most stereotypical black name and give it to them. This is my daughter, Tanisha Takahara. My child, Bonaquanita Chang.

Tesia: This is my baby Shaneequa Lee.

Me: (laughing) I would make them wear kimonos and then cornrow their hair! My children would hate me so bad!

Tesia: Your children would come to me and say, ‘Auntie, why does Mommy make us wear this stuff and then laugh hysterically?’

Me: (laughing) Or ‘Auntie, why does Mommy make us eat jerk chicken egg rolls? Does Mommy hate us?’

Tesia: No, children. Your mother’s just a wee bit racist.

We may or may not have riffed on this topic for another fifteen minutes.

May or may not.