A picture of a corncob pipe.

Image via Wikipedia

One thing I’ve noticed during my first month of grad school is that everyone in my program smokes.

Well, not everyone, but many people light up during breaks and after class.

My classmates are wonderful people and I really want to get to know them better, but I feel left out when everybody else is smoking and I’m not.

(Oh shoot I finally understand how peer pressure works. Nifty!)

Now, I really don’t want to develop a smoking habit, nor do I want to be a social smoker, so I’ve come up with a list of other ways I can fit in with the smokers.

1 ) Candy cigarettes

    C’mon, who would notice?

2 ) Water cigarettes

   They emit smoke, but you don’t burn your lungs to a crisp.

3 ) A 60’s cigarette holder with paper stuck in the end.

    As long as no one lit it I would be fine.

4 ) A corncob pipe

    I’ve never had a problem being pretentious and I would just have to suck on the end. I wouldn’t have to light it.

5 ) Smoke bombs

    I would look like Batman…I really want to be Batman.