In the last few days, I’ve noticed an interesting trend among my friends.
All of them have that one crazy ex-boy/girlfriend.
Well, perhaps “crazy” is not the right word, but they’ve all dated a person who afterwards made them say, “Did I really just date THAT person?”
Today during lunch, my friend, Brian and I were discussing this trend. When we were in college, Brian dated the Matriarch of the THAT ex clan, a girl I will refer to as The Weeping Willow. When The Weeping Willow wasn’t weeping over something Brian said, did, or thought, she was mad at him.
And her rage was epic.
It was also irrational, which is the best kind of rage to be witness to.
However, it is the worst rage to be in the line of fire of.
As Brian and I were discussing the Crazy Ex phenomenon, we came to an amazing conclusion: the crazy ex is usually mind numbingly hot or a really good kisser.
This is why my friends tend to stick it out long after the relationship has gone sour milk and rotten eggs bad.
Brian was with The Weeping Willow for over six months.
My friend, Jennifer* was with Sir Oops I Lost My Pants for eight months.
My high school friend, David* was with Lady I Think You’re Too Good to Hang Out with Gyasi for a year.
I was not a fan of that girlfriend…
Sometimes I wanted to light her on fire.
Anyway, all of those people were either extremely good-looking or really good kissers. This is why my friends chose to stay in pitiful excuses for relationships. Brian was quick to agree with me.
“I wanted to get out of it,” he said.
“But you were blinded by the booty?”
“In a way; the flesh was strong.”
“Ah. That’s what we’ll call it now: the flesh is strong with this one,” I said.
(Yes, I typically borrow catchphrases from movies to make my point.)
So whenever one of your friends says, “He slashed my tires because he thought I touched the cashier’s hand at Old Navy, but I’m not sure if we should break up” you can nod and say, “I see. The flesh is strong with this one.”
When your brother says, “Stacy doesn’t like it when girls come over my apartment and she’s not there” you can give him a sisterly pat on the back and say, “Dear brother, the flesh is strong with this one.”
Eventually they will snap out of it and they’ll need someone to laugh with.
Just don’t be too hearty in your laugh fest because everybody has THAT ex.
Which means that if you haven’t already dated him or her, your time is coming.