I must really want that slingshot to Hell.
What I did on Monday proves how much I want the slingshot.
Not only will I be riding the slingshot, but mine is going to have chrome.
So here’s the story:
For the last three weeks my Sunday school class has been reading a book by Linda Dillow on worship. When Lil’ Dillow talks about worship, she doesn’t mean singing in church on a Sunday
and pointing out the mistakes in the powerpoint, but something deeper than that. Lil’ Dillow (I have no idea why I’m calling her that) kind of wants you to pray without ceasing. She wants you to make worship a part of your daily life rather than confining it to one day a week or placing such a limited definition on it. Inspired by L Boogie Dizzle (seriously, I have no clue why I’m giving her hood names), I decided to try making worship a part of my Monday morning commute.
On Monday mornings, I drive an hour to FAU. Usually, I just listen to music, but because I wanted to incorporate worship into my daily life, I made a playlist of praise and worship music and downloaded a sermon from Francis Chan.
Looking back on it I think I took what L Doggie Fizzle said too literally.
I basically set up church in Syd the Hybrid.
I was one step away from staining my tinted windows.
Now, it looks like I planned everything quite well, right? Nay, my friend. I say, nay.
I left out the communion wine. I did not take into account my epic and irrational road rage. My road rage is not your typical frustrated outburst.
My road rage is like a duraflame log burning long and well into the recesses of my soul.
So, dear reader, imagine, if you will, this scene on Monday morning…
Me: (singing in the car) There is no one else for me! None but Jesus! Crucifi– WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MERGE! MERGE! I AM GIVING YOU THE SPOT! Where was I? Oh yeah…all my delight is in you, Lord! All of my ho- YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!? YIELD DOES NOT MEAN SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES! IDIOT! Wait, sorry Jesus. Ok, I’m praising, I’m worshipping, I’m singing… Did you feel the mountains tremble? Did you hear the oceans ro-AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SIGNAL! SIGNAL! SIGNAL BEFORE YOU CHANGE LANES! And we can see that God you’re mo- MORON! A mighty river through the nations! And young and old will turn to Jesus! I am going to fling you into an abyss of everlasting pain if you don’t SPEED UP! YOU’RE HOLDING UP TRAFFIC!!!!!!!
You see, that’s why my slingshot is outfitted in chrome.
However, this post could have done it too.
Lord, forgive me.