An alternative title for this post would be “How I Finally Got Rid of Da Illest Negro.”
After having him fill up my inbox with inquiries, smiles, and questions, I finally decided to give Da Illest Negro what he wanted: a reply.
However, in addition to being a Christian I also moonlight as the Bride of Beelzebub and that was the side the took over as I fashioned my response.
Question: What kind of food do you like?
Answer: Fried horse and curried gibblets.
Question: If you were a genre of music, what genre would you be?
Answer: Heavy metal reggae. My favorite album is “Rasta Death March” by The Spiked Kingstonians.
Question: First date?
Answer: Milking water moccasins. If it’s got fangs I can milk it.
Question: Favorite animal?
Answer: A Zorse or a Liger.
Question: What’s your favorite hobby?
Answer: Floatin’ along the bayou with my cousin/half-brother, Jedidiah in that raft we made when we were fourteen.
I have yet to hear from Da Illest Negro
Lesson 5: Always have an exit strategy.