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A liger and its trainer, Dr. Bhagavan Antle, p...

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An alternative title for this post would be “How I Finally Got Rid of Da Illest Negro.”

After having him fill up my inbox with inquiries, smiles, and questions, I finally decided to give Da Illest Negro what he wanted: a reply.

However, in addition to being a Christian I also moonlight as the Bride of Beelzebub and that was the side the took over as I fashioned my response.

Question: What kind of food do you like?

Answer: Fried horse and curried gibblets.

Question: If you were a genre of music, what genre would you be?

Answer: Heavy metal reggae. My favorite album is “Rasta Death March” by The Spiked Kingstonians.

Question: First date?

Answer: Milking water moccasins. If it’s got fangs I can milk it.

Question: Favorite animal?

Answer: A Zorse or a Liger.

Question: What’s your favorite hobby?

Answer: Floatin’ along the bayou with my cousin/half-brother, Jedidiah in that raft we made when we were fourteen.

I have yet to hear from Da Illest Negro

Lesson 5: Always have an exit strategy.