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I didn’t mean to have such a long gap between lessons, but a neck cramp, excessive fatigue, and He-Man knocking out the wireless connection kept me from updating the blog.

Please forgive me.

Now, here’s what happened on Day 11 of my online dating adventure:

(email notification beeps on Chitty-chitty-bang-bang the iTouch)

Me: I have mail! Crap, it’s from certainlyspinster.com.

Certainlyspinster.com: We have a new match for you! blameitontherain44 is 25 years old and lives in Pompano Beach, FL! blameitontherain44 could have you at hello!

Me: Really, certainlyspinster? Movie clichés? Alright let’s see this poor man.

(logs onto certainlyspinster.com)

Me: Ok, ok what is blameitontherain44 into? (reads profile) “I’m a really interesting guy who enjoys being unique.” How do you enjoy being unique? Let me not go there…movies. What type of movies do you like?

blameitontherain44’s profile: “Movies these days are so overrated”

Me: Does that mean you like Golden Age Hollywood movies?

blameitontherain44’s profile: “In my opinion, people are way too focused on celebrities and high-tech explosions. They don’t know the meaning of a good script.”

Me: So, wait, you don’t like movies? Music?

blameitontherain44’s profile: “The music business is run by posers. I’m not really into music.”

Me: Do you at least like books? Tell me you like books, blameitontherain44!

blamitontherain44’s profile: “Literature is only for snot nosed intellectuals who have no idea what a hard day’s work means.”

Me: ….

blameitontherain44’s profile: “Why read when you can actually do something with your life?”

Me: Does that mean you like going out?

blameitontherain44’s profile: “My idea of the perfect date is staying at home and browsing the internet. I don’t really like going outside.”

Me: Am I being Punk’d? Where’s Ashton Kutcher?

(email notification beeps on Chitty-chitty-bang-bang the iTouch)

Me: Screw you, certainlyspinster! Screw you!

Lesson 6: You are not being Punk’d. These people actually exist and they enjoy being unique.

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