Me: Oh I got an email from certainlyspinster.com!
Jenny: Another 40-year-old?
Tesia: Open it!
Me: This one is actually really good. He’s a basketball coach and he’s only 26. Kudos certainlyspinster.com.
Jenny: He’s kind of cute. You guys go to the same school!
Me: Went to the same school. He graduated, see?
Tesia: He’s a Catholic though, Gyasi.
Me: Well, that could pose a bit of a problem later.
Jenny: But he likes rock climbing and he reads.
Me: I’m a Baptist.
Jenny: He’s educated and likes Cuban food!
Me: And he’s a Catholic.
Jenny: He lives nearby.
Me: My faith is really important to me.
Jenny: He’s got a steady job.
Me: One of us would have to convert.
Me: Catholics and Baptists have radically different beliefs. I may have to let this one go.
Jenny: You know you’re not getting any younger.
Lesson 9: Realize that you’re picky and never open emails in front of friends.